i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
