woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize