I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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