why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
