I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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