Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
