I wanna passion pit in your ass
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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