so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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