you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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