I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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