that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
