Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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