conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
