It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
