Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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