I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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