I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Two words: blizzard sex
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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