Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
