we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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