Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize