You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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