But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
