What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
