I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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