ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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