I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
