so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize