Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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