i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
