I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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