Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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