ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
