the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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