Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hell yes lets make some ravioli
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just high enough for therapy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
