Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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