I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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