i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
