yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
