i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You took a bar mat shot.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Randomize