I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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