i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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