Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
