Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
