I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize