No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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