Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
