Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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