Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
