Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
