Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
