like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
