i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
