$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
