I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
tell me about the eggs
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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