fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
