took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
