some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
