this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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