i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
