I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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