so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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