the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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